week 13

ick!

I think that accurately describes my long run today. I know........There are bound to be some bad runs....I am sick......and I still ran 10 miles, but still, ick!

Last night, my ONLY night to relax, I found myself sort of on edge. Ok, extremely on edge. I went to Barnes & Noble (my refuge) and found myself storming down the aisles. All the books I looked at, I had passed over before. I didn't want to spend money - I have stacks and stacks (AND STACKS) of book at home to read. Then I couldn't decide what I wanted for dinner. I had no energy to drive to Manoa. Panda Express (at the mall) while appealing seemed unhealthy. I didn't want to experience the craziness of Whole Foods on a Friday. I debated just going grocery shopping, but I wasn't going to cook something. In the end, I just ended up snacking. (Pickles and pretzels) Ugh! To top it all off, I usually try to be in bed at 8:30 pm (ummmm, I know that sounds early, but after a full week of teaching I am usually falling asleep at 7 pm - my friends can vouch for that). Yesterday, I was focused on school work at 10 pm. My brain shut off around 11 pm.

sickness + mood + dinner (or lack of) + late night = disaster run

Strangely my legs felt fine (usually I get shin splint towards the beginning of a run), but this time, I was wheezing after 3 miles. My throat was parched and I was beginning to cough. As I hit the first water fountain, I had to stop. Also NO ONE was outside in the morning and I was getting paranoid. Where were the people? When I run the backroads of Kahala that is nice, but when I get to a park, I depend on seeing people to keep me going. Hot guys, other runners, weirdly dressed tourists, whatever. I kept pushing towards the farmers market. I was bound to see hoards of people there. At the crosswalk by KCC, the cop made sure the woman running in the opposite direction (and downhill) got safely across the street, he left me to my own devices. Sigh! It is all downhill (for about 20 min) after that. Nice! But as I got to Kapiolani Park, I felt like I had nothing in the tank to keep going. (This point was emphasized when many runners passed me). I made an executive decision. I could suffer through Waikiki and probably end up walking or I could turn and complete my usually route. I chose to head home. 15 miles was not meant to be. Next week, I hope.

Although I am beginning to question if I really want to run the marathon. (Don't worry, I am still going to) But I started training, to lose some weight, get into shape, and to feel better about myself. SLOWLY, some pounds have been shed, I am in pretty good shape, and after a 10 miles run (I emphasize AFTER) I feel pretty good about myself. I never thought I could run that much and regularly. I do look forward to my long runs, because even though I hate running, I relax. 26.2 miles seems excessive at this point. If I can get myself to running about 15 miles, I think that is a good distance without harming my body. (That would be more than 2 hours of running)
So next week I get to think about: how can I start to enjoy and relax on my daily runs? (after teaching all day, they just feel like torture) and would I be committed to running and long runs, if I wasn't "training"?